Tobi's Rhyme For His Friends
by Koplak from the Equator
Summary: Akatsuki has nothing to do and Tobi just can't say enough. So one day he made a song for them, each with a rhyme. How does his song sound? Click the title and you'll know. Btw, figure the tune yourself. Reviews, please?


**Tobi's Song for His Friends**

**Disclaimer: **Naruto and all its stuff are not mine. If it is, Sakura will have a dark blue hair instead of pink and Tobi might be Obito resurrected.

* * *

"Ahem!

_Tobi made a song,_

_Think of it all night long._

_It might kinda long,_

_So don't get Tobi wrong._

_Deidara-senpai, Lord of Lips._

_Never put his hands on his hips._

_His tongues made clays with their tips._

_Ultimate weapon: first, he strips._

_The elder, Sasori._

_If we're late, we're sorry._

_We'll try to be hurry._

_But pay us with curry._

_Hidan talks all those things dirty._

_F%#, crap, damn, and all the shitty._

_He got kicked out from the city._

_Cos he killed a little kitty._

_Kakuzu the money hunter._

_Works all season even winter._

_Hidan always makes him bitter._

_His head ended up in the gutter._

_Kisame is a shark._

_He was born in Ocean Park._

_Favorite channel: Hallmark._

_Hopes to be Tony Stark._

_Itachi, the mysterious._

_From us all, he's serious._

_But his case is notorious._

_Could he be obnoxious?_

_Akatsuki's 'Two-Face'_

_Zetsu is in the place._

_Insane in his own ways._

_In fact, that is his grace._

_Konan is our mummy!_

_Helps us fill our tummy!_

_By cooking salami!_

_She loves Pein more than you or me._

_Pein the leader, the Commander._

_Talks to us with lotsa anger._

_Dirty secret he tried to cover._

_Yes, with Konan he wants to slumber._

_OOOHHH!! We're the Akatsuki!_

_Mess with us you won't be lucky! Yeeeaaah!!_

Thank you! OOWW!! Ooh! Tomato sauce!" Tobi cleaned his hair from tomato sauce while other stuffs kept thrown to his face.

"Get out of your cardboard-boxes-made-stage, dummy! Your song sucks!!" Deidara yelled, in his hands there were Itachi's sunny-side-up.

"Naah…I don't think it's that bad…" said Kakuzu. "I am working all seasons, no matter how hard the rain or snow is." And I _did_ cut your head to the gutter." Kakuzu gave Hidan a sharp glance.

"Grrr….! I still can feel the rat shits in my mouth!"

"Serves you right, toilet-mouth."

Konan stole a small timid glance at Pein and likewise the leader. "P-Pein-sama…really…?"

"Konan…you love me?"

They stared for a long time and finally decided to make a direct move. Pein attacked Konan with his lips and Konan gladly accepted. They both fell from their chairs but their lips weren't disconnected yet. Pein was on the floor with Konan on top of him; he wrapped his arms around her waist.

All the other members were staring at them with shaded eyes and, noticing those glances, Pein pulled away for a second, saying, "What? Can't you guys see we're busy? Go commenting Tobi or something." Then there he goes.

"Wait a minute!! I wasn't born in Ocean Park! And I don't like Hallmark! And I don't know who Tony Stark is! And what's up with me being a shark?" Kisame had a lot to complain.

"Um…Tobi didn't know what to begin Kisame-senpai with except with the obvious." Tobi honestly answered.

"Is me being a shark _that_ obvious???????"

"Yes." almost all of the members replied in unison, except White Zetsu.

Kisame lost his spirits and squatted on the ground on the corner of the room with all dark auras overwhelming him. He muttered a huge variety of curses while he scraped the dining room's wall with his big sword Samehada.

"I did saw you watching Oprah Winfrey Show and the old movies in Hallmark everyday, Kisame." added Itachi, to Kisame's depression. "And I know you read and watch Iron Man. And Kirigakure has the biggest Ocean Park in the universe. Actually Tobi's song is quite accurate there."

"Oh! Itachi-senpai, do you have any comments??" Tobi asked happily.

"No."

"Then Tobi will take that as neutral. Sasori-dana?"

"I think it's OK, but I'll never pay your punctuality with curry! I can't cook, remember?"

"Don't worry! There are instant ones!" Tobi added, making Sasori grumbled because he was ever too lazy to pay someone back.

"But," Sasori added, "I like Deidara's part." He snickered, "Lord of Lips…pfft…" Sasori covered his mouth and laughed silently. His back was shaking madly. Finally, blowing it out, he hit the table. "BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LORD OF LIPS…HAHAHAHA!!"

Konan moaned.

"Yess…my cannibalism is our grace…" said Zetsu's black half.

"Isn't Two-Face one of Batman's worst foes? Then I can take it." the white half commented before giving a lazy thumb-up to Tobi.

"Thank you, Zetsu-san!!"

"So, Hidan, how could you be stupid enough to kill a little kitty?" asked Kakuzu, crossing his arms, never had he this happy to mock Hidan before. "Oh, wait, lemme guess: the cat messed with your metro-sexual-wannabe hairstyle. Right?"

"The cat's not even little! It was a saber tooth tiger, goddammit! It's like as big as a horse!"

"Hmph, yeah, a toy horse. Or was it Trojan horse?"

Konan moaned Pein's name.

Hidan's face mixed with red, blue, and purple as he was out of his nerves, and Kakuzu liked it when he was like that. "AAAARGGHH!! Kakuzu you sonofabitch!! I'm gonna ^#$%*&--!"

"What? I can dump you in the sewers of near a refugee camp. You'll be eating horse and cow shits. Or even better, I can dump you in the sewer of a zoo. You'll be eating elephant shits."

Hidan, frustrated but beaten up, screamed with a lot of stress and Kakuzu seemed to be pleased of himself. He whistled Hidan's verse as he came to pat Tobi's head.

Pein chuckled then moaned.

"Good work, Tobi. I'm expecting more of such good work in the near future." said Kakuzu, still can't get the happiness out of him.

Pein popped out his head from under the table, he had lost his cloak. "Yeah…thanks Tobi. Whoa!" Pein cried as Konan (now almost naked) pulled him back to the floor and resumed their make-out.

"Hurray!! Tobi's a good boy! So…1, 2, 3, 4, 5 like Tobi's song. Deidara-senpai, Kisame-senpai, and Hidan-senpai hate Tobi's song. Itachi-senpai is neutral. Whoa! Tobi got fans! Tobi will make another song!!"

"NO! NO! NO! No more songs, do you hear me!"

"Aaaw…" Tobi scowled.

"No, no, Tobi. Keep up the good work. Here, for you." Kakuzu gave him 300 dollar bills to the newest member in Akatsuki. Now that's strange…

"Yahoo! Thanks, Kakuzu-senpai! Tobi can buy a new thesaurus and Britney Spears's new album!" the kid ran off to the nearest bookstore and the nearest CD shop.

Meanwhile, Sasori still hadn't run out of energy to laugh. Since he was a puppet who technically felt nothing, he couldn't possibly get tired that easily. "Deidara…strips…HAHAHAHA!! Let's see who's sexier…him…or Jim Carrey…HAHAHA!!" Sasori took a deep breath, not noticing Deidara's glare of hatred, fury, and all those things negative. "Oh no…not Jim Carrey, he's not sexy at all…Keira Knightley…" Sasori landed his head on the table that was, phew, empty and his hand hit the table frantically it actually nearly break into two.

"Sasori…the table costs 3800 bucks." Zetsu said, but Sasori was WAY too happy to hear him.

Lazily, Itachi strode back to his room, yawning under his high-necked collar. "I wonder how Orochimaru's verse will sound if he's still a member." he added with an invisible smirk and it roused most of the member's—except the making out ones—imagination to work.

Oh boy…Sasori just break the table…


End file.
